Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Islam Question and Answer - Is it better for a man to divorce his second wife with whom he quarrels, so that she can have some peace?



Is it better for a man to divorce his second wife with whom he quarrels, so that she can have some peace?
Is it allowable for a husband to divorce his (second) wife without her doing anything wrong?  This man found out that he does not have much in common with his wife, often fights with her and dislikes things about her through no fault of hers.  Would it not be better to let her free to marry someone who would love her and cherish her than to keep her in a much-less-than ideal situation?


Praise be to

The man has to treat both of his wives
fairly, and to fear Allaah with regard to them. The woman should resist her
jealousy and strive to control herself (jihad al-nafs) and not cause
trouble to her husband because he has another wife. 

“The basic principle concerning divorce is
that it is makrooh (disliked), and if we say that the basic principle
is that it is forbidden, this is not far-fetched. This is indicated by the
words of Allaah concerning those who take an oath not to have sexual
relations with their wives. He said (interpretation of the meaning): 

‘… then if they return (change their idea in
this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah
is All-Hearer, All-Knower’

[al-Baqarah 2:226-227] 

The aayah ends with
these two names, ‘All-Hearer, All-Knower’, if they decide upon
divorce, to indicate that Allaah does not like that, because in the case of
one who returns or comes back to his wife after swearing not to have
intercourse with her, it says that ‘Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most

This makes it clear that Allaah likes the one
who has sworn such an oath to go back (to his wife). In the case of one who
has decided to divorce his wife, the use of the words

‘All-Hearer, All-Knower’ indicates that Allaah dislikes that. It
was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: ‘The most hated of permissible things to Allaah is divorce.’ This
hadeeth is not saheeh, but its meaning is saheeh. Allaah dislikes divorce,
but He does not forbid it to His slaves, to make things easier for them. If
there is a valid reason for divorce, in sharee’ah or otherwise, then that is
permissible. Whether there is a valid reason depends on whether the woman’s
remaining married will lead to some shar’i reservation that can only be
alleviated by divorce, then he may divorce her, such as when the woman is
lacking in religious commitment or chastity, and he is unable to reform her.
In such cases, we say that it is better for him to divorce her. But if there
is no such valid reason, whether shar’i or otherwise, then we say that it is
better not to divorce her; indeed in such a case divorce would be makrooh.”

 (As’ilat al-Baab al-Maftooh by Ibn
‘Uthaymeen, p. 113)

 With regard to the woman mentioned in the
question, if she is able to live with her husband in a good manner, and if
each of them can put up with the other at times of short-lived anger, then
this will be better for her, for him, for their children and for the family
of each partner. If a good life cannot continue between them for some reason
on the part of one or both of them, and it appears that separation is better
for her or for him or for both of them, then Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):

 “But if they separate (by divorce),
Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty”

[al-Nisaa’ 4:130] 

Allaah may provide her with a husband better
than him, who will be more righteous and treat her more kindly. May Allaah
help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

No comments:

Post a Comment