Praise be to Allaah.
Our advice to you is to
heed the command that Allaah has given to all people, the earlier and later
(generations), advice that combines the best of this world and the
Hereafter. Allaah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And verily, We have
recommended to the people of the Scripture before you, and to you (O
Muslims) that you (all) fear Allaah, and keep your duty to Him”
[al-Nisa’ 4:131]
What goodness can there be
in this world if it involves incurring the wrath of the Lord, may He be
exalted? What happiness can there be if it is not following that path that
leads to Allaah’s pleasure? Would a believer be happy to make gains in this
world and lose out in the Hereafter?
Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Fear
Allaah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has
sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of
what you do.
19. And be not like
those who forgot Allaah (i.e. became disobedient to Allaah), and He caused
them to forget their ownselves (let them to forget to do righteous deeds).
Those are the Faasiqoon (rebellious, disobedient to Allaah).
20. Not equal are the
dwellers of the Fire and the dwellers of the Paradise. It is the dwellers of
Paradise that will be successful”
[al-Hashr 59:18-20].
The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) told men to choose a wife who is
religiously-committed, and he told women and their guardians to choose a man
who is also religiously-committed.
It was narrated that Abu
Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one whose
religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female
relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there
will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi
and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah
(1022).
The man who prevents his
wife from wearing hijab is not a man of good character or religiously
committed who deserves to be married. Rather it is most likely that the one
who prevents his wife from wearing hijab will also be negligent about other
major sins and actions that doom one to Hell. How can he protect his wife
and household, or how can he raise his children to obey Allaah when he is
disobeying Him and telling others to do likewise?
It says in al-Mawsoo’ah
al-Fiqhiyyah (24/62):
The wali (guardian) should
not give the female relative in his care in marriage to anyone but a man who
is pious and righteous. End quote.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan
said in al-Muntaqa (4/question no. 198):
When marrying, we should
choose righteous spouses who adhere firmly to their religion, who respect
the sanctity of marriage and the importance of good treatment (of spouses).
It is not permissible to be careless with regard to this matter. Such
heedlessness has become widespread nowadays, with regard to this important
matter. People give their daughters and female relatives in marriage to men
who do not fear Allaah and the Last Day, and they end up complaining about
the husbands and they are confused about how to deal with them. If they had
looked for a righteous man before marriage, Allaah would have made it easy
for them (to find such a man). But in most cases this stems from negligence
and a failure to seek righteous husbands, and a bad man can never be
suitable. It is not permissible to take this matter lightly, because (such a
man) will mistreat the woman and he may lead her away from her religion or
influence her children. End quote.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said
in Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb (al-Nikaah/Ikhtiyaar al-Zawj/question
no. 16):
What the woman’s guardian
must do if a suitor comes to propose to her is to find out about his
religious commitment and character. If they are good then he should give her
to him in marriage, and if they are not good then he should not do so, and
Allaah will bring to his female relatives one who is religiously committed
and of good character, for when Allaah knows that the reason why the
guardian did not give her to that suitor was so that a man of good character
and religious commitment could propose to her, then He will help him to find
such a man. End quote.
What we think is that you
should not accept this fiancé, and Allaah will compensate you with someone
better than him.
And Allaah knows best.
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