Is it permissible for her to wear a little makeup when a suitor comes to see her?

Is it permissible for her to wear a little makeup when a suitor comes to see her?

Is it permissible for a woman to wear a very little makeup when the suitor looks at her?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for a
woman to show her adornment except to those whom Allaah has mentioned in the
verse (interpretation of the meaning): 

“… and not to show off
their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for
necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like
veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over
Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal
their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their
husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers
or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women
(i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands
possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no
sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal
what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you
all, O believers, that you may be successful”

[al-Noor 24:30-31] 

The suitor is not one of
these, rather he is only permitted to look for the purpose of proposing
marriage, and the woman does not have the right to adorn herself for him. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may
Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is permissible for the suitor to see the
woman to whom he is proposing marriage, but that is subject to certain
conditions: 

1 – That he needs to see
her. If there is no need then the basic principle is that a man should not
look at a woman who is a non-mahram to him, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their
gaze (from looking at forbidden things)” [al-Noor 24:30]. 

2 – He should have made up
his mind that he wants to propose. If he is still hesitant then he should
not look, but if he has made up his mind then he may look, then he should
either go ahead or give up the idea. 

3 – This looking should be
without being alone with her, i.e. it is essential that she have one of her
mahrams with her, either her father, brother, paternal uncle or maternal
uncle. That is because being alone with a non-mahram woman is haraam,
because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“No man should be alone with a woman without a mahram being present.” And he
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering
upon women.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what about the in-law? He
said: “The in-law is death.” 

4 – He should think it most
likely that she and her family will accept. If he does not think that is
most likely, then there is no point in looking in this case, because his
proposal will not be accepted, whether he looks at her or not. 

Some scholars stipulated
that his desire should not be provoked when looking, and that his aim should
be only to find out. If his desire is provoked then he must stop looking,
because before the marriage contract is done with a woman, it is not
appropriate to enjoy looking at her, so he must refrain. In this situation
the woman must come out to the suitor looking ordinary; she should not come
out wearing beautiful clothes or makeup, because she is not yet his wife.
Moreover, if she comes to him looking beautiful and wearing her best
clothes, then he may propose because he was dazzled by her the first time he
looked at her, then he will find out that she is not as she appeared to him
at first.  

End quote from
Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb 

Elsewhere he (may Allaah
have mercy on him) indicated that this may have the opposite effect, because
if he looks at her when she is wearing makeup and fine clothes, he may see
her as more beautiful than she really is, and in that case when he enters
upon her following the wedding and sees her as she really is, he may be put
off her and no longer interested in him. 

To sum up: If a suitor
comes to a woman it is permissible for her to uncover her face and hands and
head and that which usually appears, according to the correct view, but
without wearing any cosmetics or adornments. 

And Allaah knows best.

Her fiancé refuses to let her wear hijab

Her fiancé refuses to let her wear hijab

I am a religiously-committed Tunisian girl, but I have a problem. My fiancé refuses to let me wear hijab – even modern hijab. I am wondering whether I should go ahead with the marriage or reject him? Please note that most Tunisians are like this.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Our advice to you is to
heed the command that Allaah has given to all people, the earlier and later
(generations), advice that combines the best of this world and the
Hereafter. Allaah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And verily, We have
recommended to the people of the Scripture before you, and to you (O
Muslims) that you (all) fear Allaah, and keep your duty to Him”

[al-Nisa’ 4:131] 

What goodness can there be
in this world if it involves incurring the wrath of the Lord, may He be
exalted? What happiness can there be if it is not following that path that
leads to Allaah’s pleasure? Would a believer be happy to make gains in this
world and lose out in the Hereafter? 

Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Fear
Allaah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has
sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of
what you do. 

19. And be not like
those who forgot Allaah (i.e. became disobedient to Allaah), and He caused
them to forget their ownselves (let them to forget to do righteous deeds).
Those are the Faasiqoon (rebellious, disobedient to Allaah).

20. Not equal are the
dwellers of the Fire and the dwellers of the Paradise. It is the dwellers of
Paradise that will be successful”

[al-Hashr 59:18-20]. 

The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) told men to choose a wife who is
religiously-committed, and he told women and their guardians to choose a man
who is also religiously-committed.  

It was narrated that Abu
Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one whose
religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female
relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there
will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi
and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah
(1022). 

The man who prevents his
wife from wearing hijab is not a man of good character or religiously
committed who deserves to be married. Rather it is most likely that the one
who prevents his wife from wearing hijab will also be negligent about other
major sins and actions that doom one to Hell. How can he protect his wife
and household, or how can he raise his children to obey Allaah when he is
disobeying Him and telling others to do likewise? 

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah
al-Fiqhiyyah (24/62): 

The wali (guardian) should
not give the female relative in his care in marriage to anyone but a man who
is pious and righteous. End quote. 

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan
said in al-Muntaqa (4/question no. 198): 

When marrying, we should
choose righteous spouses who adhere firmly to their religion, who respect
the sanctity of marriage and the importance of good treatment (of spouses).
It is not permissible to be careless with regard to this matter. Such
heedlessness has become widespread nowadays, with regard to this important
matter. People give their daughters and female relatives in marriage to men
who do not fear Allaah and the Last Day, and they end up complaining about
the husbands and they are confused about how to deal with them. If they had
looked for a righteous man before marriage, Allaah would have made it easy
for them (to find such a man). But in most cases this stems from negligence
and a failure to seek righteous husbands, and a bad man can never be
suitable. It is not permissible to take this matter lightly, because (such a
man) will mistreat the woman and he may lead her away from her religion or
influence her children. End quote. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said
in Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb (al-Nikaah/Ikhtiyaar al-Zawj/question
no. 16): 

What the woman’s guardian
must do if a suitor comes to propose to her is to find out about his
religious commitment and character. If they are good then he should give her
to him in marriage, and if they are not good then he should not do so, and
Allaah will bring to his female relatives one who is religiously committed
and of good character, for when Allaah knows that the reason why the
guardian did not give her to that suitor was so that a man of good character
and religious commitment could propose to her, then He will help him to find
such a man. End quote. 

What we think is that you
should not accept this fiancé, and Allaah will compensate you with someone
better than him. 

And Allaah knows best.

If the husband is the woman’s wali, can he get himself married to her?

If the husband is the woman’s wali, can he get himself married to her?

I want to marry my cousin. She is my paternal cousin. I am her wali according to a shar’ee guardianship. I want to marry her but we do not have close relatives or brothers. There is no one else apart from me who can be her wali. Is it permissible that I say to her: “I give you myself in marriage” then she says: “I accept” in witnesses’ presence? Or shall I ask the marriage contractor to be her wali? What shall I do?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

If a woman’s guardian
(wali) with regard to marriage is her cousin (son of her paternal uncle) and
he wants to marry her, there is nothing wrong with that if she agrees. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said: 

The wali of a woman for
whom it is permissible to marry her may be her cousin, her master, the judge
or the ruler. If she gives him permission to marry her then he may do that.
End quote. 

Al-Mughni
(7/360). 

In that case he may do the
marriage contract on behalf of himself and the woman, because he is her
wali. So he says: I marry you, or I marry myself to So and so, and so on. He
does not need to say I accept, because his acceptance is implied. And she
does not need to say I accept either, because a woman cannot do the marriage
contract for herself or for anyone else, rather her wali does the marriage
contract for her. 

Or he may appoint another
man to do his marriage contract on his behalf, whether this wakeel is a
state official or someone else. In that case his deputy (wakeel) says: I
give you So and so in marriage, and he says: I accept. Thus the marriage
contract is done. Both ways are narrated from the Sahaabah (may Allaah be
pleased with them). 

Imam al-Bukhaari (may
Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Chapter: If the wali is the
suitor. Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah proposed marriage to a woman when he was
her next of kin (her guardian), so he told another man to do the marriage
contract for him. 

‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf
said to Umm Hakeem bint Qaarit: Will you put me in charge of your affairs?
She said: Yes. He said: Then I offer to marry you. 

‘Ata’ said: Let him bring
witnesses, or let him order a man among her family. End quote. 

Al-Albaani classed the
reports of al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allaah
be pleased with them) as saheeh in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1845 and 1855. 

It should be noted that it
is essential to have the marriage contract witnessed in both cases. For
information on the essential parts and conditions of marriage, please see
the answer to question no. 2127. 

End quote. 

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Question and Answer - She has received a proposal from a young man who smokes – should she agree to marry him?

She has received a proposal from a young man who smokes – should she agree to marry him?

A man proposed to me. When we asked about him and found out that he smokes. Should a man be refused due to such a vice?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Smoking is haraam because of evidence which we have explained
previously in the answer to question no.
9083. 

The one who persists in smoking is no longer regarded as
being of good character, and the basic principle is that a woman should
choose a husband who is righteous and of good character, who does not commit
major sins or persist in minor sins, and who is not known as an evildoer.
But if she is getting older and fears that no one will propose to her in the
near future, and this suitor is religiously committed and of good character
in other ways, such as if he prays regularly and is kind and has a good
attitude, and he keeps away from evil and immoral things, after enquiring
closely about him, then she may pray istikhaarah and ask Allaah for
guidance, and agree to marry him, but she should advise him after that and
encourage him to give up smoking. 

But if she still has some time and is likely to have the
opportunity to marry someone else who is righteous, then she should not
accept the suitor who smokes, because of what we have stated above that he
is persisting in sin, and because smoking is harmful to him and others, and
it will also harm the wife and children. A woman may not be able to stand
being intimate when there is the foul stench of smoke, and staying with the
husband may cause her distress and hardship. May Allaah help us all to do
that which He loves and which pleases Him. 

And Allaah knows best.

Marrying someone who is infected with and is a carrier of hepatitis B

Marrying someone who is infected with and is a carrier of hepatitis B

What is the Islamic ruling on marrying someone who has hepatitis B, knowing that this disease is transmitted sexually and through the blood, and may also be transmitted via saliva (although there is no medical consensus on the latter)? The question here is about a man who has the virus but his liver is healthy, i.e., he is a carrier of the virus only, which means that the virus is hidden in some tissues such as the liver and it is not multiplying, but the possibility that it may revive and become active remains constant. The woman whom he wants to marry has been vaccinated against this disease previously, and the doctor says that there is no danger to her from the virus in this case, and Allaah knows best. If marriage is not forbidden in this case, we hope that you can advise the sick person as to how he should speak about this disease when he proposes marriage; for example, when exactly should he tell the woman and what should he say?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

The one who is a carrier of hepatitis B or has the disease
may get married to a healthy woman or a woman who is infected with this
disease, if she accepts that after he tells her about his situation. 

It is not permissible for him to get married unless he tells
her about his sickness, because concealing that is deceit which is haraam.
If he conceals it, then his wife finds out about that, she has the right to
annul the marriage. 

It is well known medically that most people who get hepatitis
B can resist it and expel it from the body, but there is a proportion of
people, between five and 10%, whose bodies cannot get rid of it, so they
become carriers of the disease, and in a small number the disease may
develop into cirrhosis of the liver, cancer of the liver, liver failure or
death. In addition to that, in 10% of those infected, the disease may become
chronic and the person becomes a carrier of the virus and is able to spread
the sickness to others. 

The carrier of the virus usually does not have any signs or
symptoms of sickness, as his liver enzymes appear normal, but he remains
infected for a number of years or maybe for the rest of his life, and he is
able to transmit the virus to others. Most carriers of the virus do not
suffer from any real problems with hepatitis B. Although they have good
health, a few of them may be more susceptible than others to chronic liver
infection, cirrhosis and tumours of the liver. The tumours usually grow in
people who have developed cirrhosis of the liver. 

In order to prevent spread of this virus via carriers of the
virus, it is essential to do the following: 

1.    
He should not engage in sexual
activity unless the other party has immunity or has had the necessary
vaccinations against this virus; otherwise he must wear a condom.

2.    
He should not donate blood or
plasma or any part of his body to others, or share razor blades,
toothbrushes or nail clippers.

3.    
He should not swim in swimming
pools if he has any wounds on his skin.

4.    
His family members should be
tested and vaccinations should be given to those who are not carriers of the
virus and who do not have any immunity. 

End quote. 

See the article Amraad al-Kabd wa Zaraa’at al-Kabd, by
Dr. Ibraaheem ibn Hamad al-Tareef. 

As to how to tell the woman he wants to propose to do about
that, he should explain the facts to her at the time of proposal, and tell
her that he is healthy and well, but tests have shown the presence of this
virus, and the doctor has told him that she will not be harmed because she
has been vaccinated against it. If she agrees to marry him, then all well
and good, and if she refuses and prefers to be safe and not take the risk,
then she may do that. 

And Allaah knows best.

 

He loves a girl but his family refuses her because of her father’s bad reputation

He loves a girl but his family refuses her because of her father’s bad reputation

I am a young man. I fell in love with my neighbor, since we were young; we used to go to school together, our love is clean and pure, we promised each other to get married. I am in another country now. Last night I promised her by putting my hand on the Quraan, that if Allah wills I will not marry anyone but you, she did the same. 
Sheikh, this girl is very decent, she knows Islam well, she studies afternoon in an Islamic school, and she studies Quraan, fiqh and seerah. The problem is: 


1- My family refuses this marriage, but I know that they will be satisfied with me after marriage.  


2- This girl is oppressed in her family; her parents are divorced and she lives with her father, her step mother, her paternal aunt and her grandfather are oppressing her, she does all the house work, she works in the farm and does every thing alone. I want to save her from this environment she lives in.  


3- This girl’s father becomes drunk and does evil things, this is why my family refuses the marriage. This girl says that her father is a sinful man and she does not accept her father’s actions, is it fair to punish her for her father’s evil actions? Please sheikh advise me wisely knowing that it will be a disaster for me to leave her. I ask Allah to make all matters easy. May Allah reward you!.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

You should choose a wife who is religiously-committed and of
good character, who will look after her husband and house, and raise her
children well, and play her part in establishing a Muslim family and a
Muslim society. This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) taught when he said:
“Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their
lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is
religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you
prosper).” 

You should not be careless with
regard to this matter, or be swayed by emotion or so-called love. How many
marriages have ended in failure because they were not based on the principle
of choosing a wife who is religiously-committed? 

No one will be punished for the
sins of another, and he will not bear any burden but his own, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“No
one laden with burdens can bear another’s burden”

[al-Isra’ 17:15] 

But a man cannot avoid interacting
with his in-laws or visiting them, or avoid his children being influenced by
them. Hence choosing a good and religiously-committed family with a good
reputation is something that has a good effect on the husband and his family
and children, and it is one of the factors of family stability and success
in solving whatever problem may arise in the future, which all families are
prone to facing.  

Hence we do not blame your family
for rejecting ties with a man who is a drunkard and has a bad reputation,
because this will adversely affect them and their grandchildren. 

Claims of love and emotion should
be dealt with in a rational, fair and broad-minded manner. A man may imagine
that he cannot do without this girl, and he cannot live without her, and
that she has certain qualities and characteristics, but if he were to think
about it rationally, he would realize how his emotions are over-exaggerated.
Hence you must examine the situation closely and weight up this girl’s good
points and bad points, and the pros and  cons of marrying her, then base
your decision on what you think most likely after weighing up the situation,
without deceiving yourself, for no one is going to bear the consequences of
this choice more than you. 

Secondly: 

If you do decide to go ahead and
marry this girl, then try to convince your family and get their support,
because the basic principle is that it is obligatory to obey one's parents
if they forbid marriage to a certain girl, because honouring them is
obligatory and marriage to a certain girl is not obligatory, and no
exception is made concerning that except cases where a person fears he may
fall into zina, if he thinks it most likely that not marrying a particular
girl will lead to him committing haraam actions with her. 

Thirdly: 

The family should not object to
their son’s marriage if it is clear that he is attached to a particular
girl, so long as the girl is suitable and righteous, because marriage is the
best remedy for them, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “There is nothing like marriage
for two who love one another.”
 Narrated by Ibn Majaah (1847) and classed as saheeh by
al-Buwaysiri and by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (624). 

If they develop the intention of
being kind to the girl and saving her  from her family, that is good,
especially if you are going to move somewhere far away from them, and the
children will not be affected by living in a corrupt atmosphere, then that
will make it more acceptable to marry her. 

Fourthly: 

It is obvious that you are a
stranger (non-mahram) to this girl, and it is not permissible for you to be
alone with her, shake hands with her, look at her beauty or talk to her
about love and so on. If any of these things have happened in the past, then
you must repent to Allaah from that, and you must repent from studying in
the mixed environment which is usually not free from haraam things, and has
bad effects on both boys and girls. 

We advise you to consult good
people whom you trust who know this girl and her family, and to pray
istikhaarah and ask Allaah for guidance before taking any further step,
because the one who prays istikhaarah will not be disappointed and the one
who consults others will not regret it. 

See also question no.
23420 and
84102. 

We ask Allaah to guide you and to
make you take the right decision that will bring good consequences. 

And Allaah knows best.

What is the ruling on a father preventing his daughter from marrying who she wants?

What is the ruling on a father preventing his daughter from marrying who she wants?

Some fathers prevent their daughters from marrying someone who is compatible with them. What is the ruling on this? What is the daughters’ position?

 

f the fiancé dies before the marriage contract, does his fiancée inherit from him?

If the fiancé dies before the marriage contract, does his fiancée inherit from him?

A man proposed marriage to a woman and her relatives agreed to that, and they agreed on the mahr with him, but he did not pay it. Then the fiancé died. What is the ruling on that? Does the woman in question inherit from him and should she observe mourning for him?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

If the situation is as you describe in the question, and
the marriage contract had not been done between them, with the proposal
from the woman's guardian and acceptance from the husband, whilst
fulfilling all the conditions of marriage, with no impediments, then the
woman mentioned does not inherit and she does not have to observe ‘iddah
or mourning, because she is not a wife to her fiancé; rather she is still
a stranger or non-mahram to him, because the marriage contract had not
been done; rather all that happened was engagement and agreement with her
relatives on the mahr only. This on its own is not regarded as a marriage,
and there is no difference of opinion among the scholars (may Allah have
mercy on them) concerning that. And if the family of the fiancée had taken
any money from him, they have to give it back to his heirs. End quote. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) 

She used to sit with him and his wife, and he decided to marry her and divorce his wife!

She used to sit with him and his wife, and he decided to marry her and divorce his wife!

My problem is that I am about to marry the husband of my sister’s friend. I used to go to her house and sit with her and her husband, and we would always talk with one another. When my sister tried to advise her that this is haraam, i.e., mixing, she made fun of my sister and told her “you are backward” until her husband came and proposed to me, and he says that he liked me from the first moment he saw me, and he wants to have children because she cannot have any. When she heard about this, she said that I had betrayed her. Should I agree to be his wife or not? He wants to divorce her because they have arguments. Please note that he works in the bank and wants to change his job because he knows that it is haraam; he always prays in the mosque.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Mixing between men and
women is haraam. See the answer to question no.
1200. 

What you must do is repent
to Allaah from what has happened of that, and resolve not to do it again in
the future. 

Secondly: 

It is haraam for a woman to
strive for her Muslim sister to be divorced, because the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “no woman should ask for her
sister to be divorced so as to deprive her of what is rightfully hers and
take it for herself.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2140) and Muslim (1413). So
it is not permissible to encourage or tempt the husband to divorce his wife.

Thirdly: 

If the wish to marry came
from the husband, and you did not try to separate him from his wife, it is
permissible for you to accept, but we do not advise you to do that for
several reasons: 

(i)               
There is no guarantee that this
man will not like someone else and choose her over you as he did with his
first wife.

(ii)             
Your agreeing to marry him will
stir up resentment, hatred and enmity in the heart of his wife, and you will
not be safe from her ill-will and harm.

(iii)           
What you have mentioned about
him working in the bank; he may leave it as he said he would, or he may not. 

This is what we think. If,
after thinking long and hard about the matter, you decide to agree to marry
him, then pray istikhaarah and ask Allaah for guidance, and wait until he
finds another job that is permissible. 

We ask Allaah to help you
to do that in which there is goodness, success and guidance. 

And Allaah knows best.

 

- She learned of some faults in her fiancé and prayed istikhaarah about annulling the engagement, but it was not easy for her to do so

She learned of some faults in her fiancé and prayed istikhaarah about annulling the engagement, but it was not easy for her to do so

I got engaged recently, but after the engagement I found out about some faults in my fiancé that I cannot put up with, and I felt that he is not suitable for me, in addition to the fact that he does not help me to obey Allaah. Despite all that, every time I think of annulling the engagement and pray istikhaarah, asking Allaah for guidance, something happens to make it difficult to annul it. What should I do? If I annul the engagement will I be disobeying Allaah because my decision is something other than what He has chosen for me? Should I close my mind so that I will be obeying Allaah?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

If it has become clear to
you that your fiancé has some faults that you cannot put up with, there is
nothing wrong with annulling the engagement. This is better than getting
married with the possibility of differences and conflicts, then divorce. 

If you have thought about
that, then pray istikhaarah and ask Allaah for guidance, then tell your wali
so that he can apologize to your fiancé. Thus your engagement will be
annulled. 

Istikhaarah does not mean
that you should close your mind, and it is not only focused on material
matters that surround man, rather it is complementary to that. A person may
be hesitant about some matter, because it involves both good and bad, pros
and cons, or because he is uncertain of the consequences, so he asks Allaah
to make easy for him the good that He knows. 

It may seem to you that a
suitor is free of faults, but Allaah knows that he is not suitable for you
and that there are faults in him of which you are unaware, or that you are
not suitable for him. Or it may seem to you that there are faults in a
suitor, but Allaah knows that he is suitable for you and that his faults
will disappear, or that they are not actually faults, or that he is suitable
for this woman, and other unseen matters that no one knows except Allaah,
may He be glorified. 

It is well known that no
one can succeed except with the help and guidance of Allaah, and that if he
were to be left to his own devices he would be an utter loser. So if you
have prayed istikhaarah, asking Allaah for guidance, about something, then
go ahead with it. If it is good, Allaah will make it easy and facilitate it,
and if it is bad, Allaah will divert you from it or divert it from you. 

To apply this to your
question: because of the faults that you see in your fiancé, you should pray
istikhaarah and ask Allaah for guidance about annulling the engagement, and
go ahead with it, by speaking to your wali or to someone who will convey
news of the annulment of the engagement. If the matter comes to an end and
is made easy, that is better for you, in sha Allaah. If it becomes difficult
to annul the engagement, then there is nothing good for you in that now; it
may be that Allaah knows that your getting married to him is better for you,
or that continuing the engagement for a while longer is better for you.
There is no reason why you should not repeat istikhaarah several times. 

We should point out a
number of things: 

1.    
Istikhaarah is not to be used
concerning things that are obligatory or forbidden or makrooh, except when
the hesitation is about setting a time to do an obligatory action. Based on
that, if it has become apparent that your fiancé does not pray or that he
commits immoral actions, for example, then you must refuse him, and it is
not prescribed to pray istikhaarah in that case.

2.    
The issue of things being made
easy or difficult may involve some doubt and waswasah (whispers from the
shaytaan). Perhaps the wali will try to contact the fiancé to tell him of
the annulment and will not be able to get in touch with him, so it is said
that the matter has become difficult. But that is not the case. Rather he
should try again to get in touch with him, or send someone to tell him the
news, and so on.

3.    
If a person goes against what
is indicated by istikhaarah, he is not disobeying Allaah or sinning, but he
will miss out on much goodness and will regret it if he does not do it, or
harm may befall him if he goes ahead with something that Allaah has not made
easy for him. Perfect faith and trust in Allaah means delegating one’s
affairs to Allaah and accepting His decision, and going ahead with the
matter after praying istikhaarah and deciding upon a course of action, and
not paying attention to waswasah.  

Please see also the answers
to questions no. 11981 and
5882. 

We ask Allaah to make good easy for you wherever it may be. 

And Allaah knows best.

She has received a proposal from a young man who works as a producer for magazine programs on television

She has received a proposal from a young man who works as a producer for magazine programs on television

I am a young woman aged 26. I have received a marriage proposal from a young man who is of good character and religiously committed, and all his attributes are good. He is goodhearted and kind, but the reason I am hesitating to marry him and am delaying my response to his family is his job. He is currently a producer of programs and contests on television. The program that he produces is broadcast in the mornings contains various sections such as news, tourism, health, sports and interviews, and they are not free of clips of traditional songs, and both men and women appear on the program. 


My question is: is the salary that he gets from this job halaal or haraam? Should I marry him? Because frankly I would like him as a husband because of the ties between us; from the time I was very young I liked him. Or would I be sinning by marrying him and would I be disobeying my Lord? Were it not for fear of Allaah, I would not bother to ask; and your answer will help me to make my final decision.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

You have done well to ask about matters of your religion and
to pay attention to making sure that the source of your provision is halaal
and to seek to marry a righteous man. We ask Allaah to make that easy for
you. 

Secondly: 

Working in the production of programs and contests on
television in the manner that you describe, which includes mixing between
the sexes, songs and music, is work that includes both halaal and haraam,
good and evil, because it is proven that mixing, musical instruments and
showing images of women are haraam. Whatever is haraam, it is not
permissible to produce it or to help in that, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue,
righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and
transgression. And fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment”

[al-Maa’idah 5:2] 

“Verily, those who like that (the crime of) illegal sexual
intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, they will have a
painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allaah knows and you
know not”

[al-Noor 24:19] 

and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Whoever calls people to right guidance will have a reward like that
of those who follow him, without that detracting from their reward in the
slightest, and whoever calls people to misguidance will have a burden of sin
like that of those who follow him, without that detracting from their burden
in the slightest.” Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh (4831). 

See also the answer to questions number
1200 and
5000. 

The part of his salary that results from the haraam part of
his work is haraam. 

With regard to contests, some of them are permissible and
some are haraam. Contests in which the participant pays money, even if it is
the cost of a phone call, are haraam and are a type of gambling. 

Moreover, it is no secret that working in this environment is
not free of other evils, because of mixing and because usually people who
work there are included to evil and are lacking in religious commitment. 

Hence you should advise this young man. If he repents to
Allaah and gives up this work, and finds a permissible job, there is no
reason why you should not marry him. But if he continues in this job, there
is nothing good for you in him because his wealth is mixed and contains both
halaal and haraam, and there is no guarantee that he will not weaken and
change because of the environment in which he works. 

We ask Allaah to bless you with a righteous husband and
righteous offspring. 

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Question and Answer - Should the suitor be informed that the woman he wants to propose to has the problem of bedwetting?

 

 

Should the suitor be informed that the woman he wants to propose to has the problem of bedwetting?

My sister is suffering from bedwetting since early age. Now she is 20 years old, and all members of family know about this problem. We have been searching for a she-doctor or even a he-doctor to help us. Now, a young man next to us told me, as her brother, about his desire to marry my sister. Since this moment, I am very sad, feeling depressed, thanks to Allah anyway, and I asked him to give me some time to think. What shall I say to my mother who is sick with blood pressure and diabetes or my father who is very old? Not to mention other family troubles, even me, I was in a bad psychological state. Afterwards, I met our neighbor again not knowing what to tell him, hesitating, and confused, but in last I told him that this engagement can't happen currently, he replied: "If you don't agree, just tell me." I told him that all matter is that we have circumstances, then told him that my sister is suffering from a psychological problem, he asked about nature of this problem but I was unable to clarify more for him. Since that day, I am very regretful that I said so and can't sleep feeling guilty. After a while, I reached a very clever he-doctor and already medication has started, thanks to Allah there is a great improvement in her case, and now after medication and taking precautions my sister is rarely bedwetting after she had been making it daily. The case comes back only when she have a large amount of drinks. Now should I go to our neighbor, the polite young man, and clarify all things to him? Or I shouldn't talk about my sister problem?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

If there is any illness or defect that could affect married
life or it could put one spouse off the other, it must be disclosed and it
is haraam to conceal it. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Every fault
which puts the other spouse off, so that the purposes of marriage, namely
compassion and love, cannot be achieved, mean that the spouse has the choice
of annulling the marriage. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/166)  

See also the answer to question no.
111980. 

Bedwetting is a fault that the suitor must be told about, but
if your sister has recovered, or there is the hope that she will recover
soon, then you do not have to inform her suitor. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) was asked: There is a man who proposed marriage to a woman,
and it is known that this woman has a physical defect, but this defect is
hidden and is not obvious, and there is the hope that this defect may be
cured, such as leprosy or vitiligo. Should the suitor be informed of that? 

He replied: If a man proposes marriage to a woman who has a
hidden defect, that some people know about, if the suitor asks about it, it
is obligatory to tell him; this is clear. If he does not ask about it, then
he should be told about it, because this comes under the heading of sincere
advice, especially if there is no hope of it being corrected or cured. But
if there is the hope that it may be corrected or cured, then it is less
serious. But there are some things that may be cured, but the process is
slow, if indeed it is even possible, such as leprosy, and to the best of my
knowledge I don’t think it can be cured completely. Therefore a
differentiation should be made between that which may be curable quickly,
and that which is curable but will take some time. 

He wants to get married but his sperm count is low; does he have to disclose that?

He wants to get married but his sperm count is low; does he have to disclose that?

There is a young man who has not got married yet, but he found out that he has varicose veins on his testes. He did a test of his sperm and the result was bad; his sperm count was two million per millilitre and the motility was very very weak. Then he had surgery on the varicose veins, and after three months he did another test on his sperm and found that the result was much improved, but he still needed treatment because the improvement may only last three to twelve months.


Now the number of sperm per millilitre is fourteen million, and the motility increased to approximately 10%. 


Based on the explanation given by the doctors, it is essential to have a count of twenty million at least and motility of 50% at least, but the doctor who is treating him is optimistic about the final outcome, although the treatment will continue for another three months.


Now he wants to propose marriage. Should he tell the wife or not? Please note that the hope of improvement is there, in sha Allah.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Having a low sperm count
and low sperm motility of the level mentioned is regarded as a fault which
must be disclosed, and it is not permissible to conceal it, because of
what it may lead to of not having children. Having children is one of the
most important aims of marriage, so the wife has the right to have
children just as the husband has the same right. 

If a man gets married and
is aware of this weakness, and cannot have children, that is more likely to
put the wife off him and make her regard him as having deceived her. 

Hence Ameer al-Mu’mineen
‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to the one who
married a woman but could not have children: “Tell her that you are sterile
and give her the choice.” Quoted in Zaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/183 

It says in Masaa’il
al-Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, narrated by Abu Ya‘qoob al-Kawsaj (no. 1282):
I said: What about the man who marries a woman when he is sterile and cannot
have children? 

Ahmad said: I prefer the
one who knows that about himself to disclose it; perhaps his wife wants to
have children. 

Ishaaq said the same as he
said, because he cannot deceive her. End quote. Narrated by Ibn Qudaamah in
al-Mughni (6/653). 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn
Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim favoured the view that sterility is regarded as a
fault that constitutes grounds for annulment of the marriage, unlike the
majority of scholars. 

See: al-Mawsoo‘ah
al-Fiqhiyyah, 30/268 

See also the answers to
questions no. 85101 and
112455. 

Based on that, this young
man has to tell his fiancée, then if she accepts, that is up to her. 

If he hopes that the
situation will improve and the problem will be resolved within a short time
as mentioned, then he may delay proposing marriage until that time. 

We ask Allah to guide and
help us and you. 

And Allah knows best.

- Should he interfere to prevent the marriage of a girl to a person with whose brother she had a relationship?

 

 

Praise be to Allaah.

There is nothing wrong with the girl marrying this suitor,
subject to  two conditions: 

1.    
That she has repented to Allah
from the haraam relationship, and if it reached the point of zina, it is not
valid to marry a woman who committed zina until after she repents. 

See the answer the question no.
85335. 

2.    
That there is no danger of a
resumption of her relationship with his brother. This marriage may make it
easy for the relationship to resume and continue, especially in households
where no attention is paid to preventing free mixing. That would cause a
great deal of trouble, as is obvious. 

Based on that, if it is known that she is still in this
relationship or there is the fear that it may resume, based on what is seen
of circumstantial evidence, then in this case the one who has knowledge of
the situation should interfere in order to prevent the marriage, so as to
denounce evil and protect the honour of the Muslim. So he should advise the
suitor to forget about this woman in a way that will not lead to conflict
and division between the two brothers; rather he should speak in general
terms, such as saying; “She is not suitable for you,” or “she is not good
for you,” and so on. 

If it is known that the relationship has ended and there is
no fear of it being resumed, then praise be to Allah, and there is nothing
wrong with this marriage, as stated above. 

And Allah knows best.

 

 

Islam Question and Answer - Is it permissible for the woman’s guardian to refuse to give her in marriage to someone who is compatible, because of some problems between the two families?

Is it permissible for the woman’s guardian to refuse to give her in marriage to someone who is compatible, because of some problems between the two families?

I would like to know if it is permissible for the parents to reject a guy for their daughter because the parents had some problems with the guys family 30yrs ago but the two families always maintained a good relationship between each other.And the guys family are religious they have a good status in the society the guy is also religious.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

The Muslims should put an end to all disputes among
themselves that may generate resentment and hatred. The believers are
brothers and Allah has enjoined reconciliation between believers who are
fighting. He also described them as brothers in the faith. 

So they should try to forget this resentment, especially if
they have any measure of religious commitment, as it says in the question.
If the guardian hopes that this marriage may be a means of removing that
resentment and hatred, then he is enjoined to go ahead with arranging a
marriage for two reasons: 

1.    
Because the woman has received
a proposal from a man who is compatible

2.    
In order to try to deal with
the hostility (between the families). 

Al-Tirmidhi (1084) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: “If one of you receives a marriage proposal (for his
daughter or other female relative under his care) from one whose religious
commitment and good character are pleasing to you, then give (your daughter
or female relative) to him in marriage, for if you do not do that there will
be turmoil in the land and a great deal of mischief.”

Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

But if the guardian fears that there will be a renewal of the
problems and that his daughter may be wronged and ill-treated by this
family, and they will not treat her kindly, then in this case it is
permissible for him to refuse this marriage, because the guardian is acting
in the interests of the one who is under his guardianship, and her interests
in this case are served by not marrying this man. 

And Allah knows best.

 

Islam Q&A

 

 

- She is divorced – should she go back to her family’s country?

 

She is divorced – should she go back to her family’s country?

I'm a working mother in the USA. I just got divorce but I'm confused my husband is threatening me if I decide to go

 

back home to my family he can take my son a way because they are both American citizen ,but not me.

My question to you Am I upsetting Allah for sitting her without a Muhram & what can I do? It's hard to any of my family member to come to the USA.

 

Praise be to Allaah. 

We put this question to Shaykh
Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered
as follows:

 There is nothing wrong with her staying,
if she is sure that she will be safe (from falling into sin), because
this is her country now and she is living there. She is not a traveller
now. Perhaps she will find a new husband soon and get married. And Allaah
knows best.

- Can she ask for divorce because he is beating her?

Can she ask for divorce because he is beating her?

CAN A WIFE OF A FEW MONTHS, AND PREGNANT DIVORCE HER HUSBAND DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE DOESN'T SUPPORT HER IN THE CUSTOM SHE IS USED TO, BEATS HER UP, DOESN'T RESPECT HER, AND REFUSES FOR HER TO GO TO THE MOSQUE TO PRAY, ALL THIS BECAUSE SHE REFUSES TO GIVE PERMISSION FOR HIM TO MARRY AN AMERICAN WOMAN WHO ONLY BECAME MUSLIM RECENTLY AFTER HE WAS MARRIED TO THIS TURKISH WOMAN.  HE IS ALSO AN AMERICAN, HE AND THIS OTHER WOMAN HAVE A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK.

 

Praise be to Allaah. 

A woman has the right to ask
for divorce when her husband mistreats her in a way that she cannot
stand and cannot bear with patience, or if he falls short in his obligatory
spending on her, or if he is someone who indulges in these evil actions
– if she thinks that leaving him is in her best interests and will protect
her commitment to Islam and her chastity.

 

 Shaykh Waleed al-Firyaan

 

 

Islam Question and Answer - Is premature ejaculation grounds for divorce?

Is premature ejaculation grounds for divorce?

Is ejaculation praecox (early ejaculation) a reason for the wife to brake the marriage?
I know that impotence is a reason for that, but if someone comes
afte 10 or 20 seconds, how it is in this case.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, who replied that if this is upsetting the wife and causing her to miss out on her own pleasure, then there is nothing wrong with her asking for a divorce, but if she has children she should not be too hasty. And Allaah knows best.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen

 

Islam Question and Answer - Is it better for a man to divorce his second wife with whom he quarrels, so that she can have some peace?

 

 

Is it better for a man to divorce his second wife with whom he quarrels, so that she can have some peace?

Is it allowable for a husband to divorce his (second) wife without her doing anything wrong?  This man found out that he does not have much in common with his wife, often fights with her and dislikes things about her through no fault of hers.  Would it not be better to let her free to marry someone who would love her and cherish her than to keep her in a much-less-than ideal situation?

 

Praise be to
Allaah.

The man has to treat both of his wives
fairly, and to fear Allaah with regard to them. The woman should resist her
jealousy and strive to control herself (jihad al-nafs) and not cause
trouble to her husband because he has another wife. 

“The basic principle concerning divorce is
that it is makrooh (disliked), and if we say that the basic principle
is that it is forbidden, this is not far-fetched. This is indicated by the
words of Allaah concerning those who take an oath not to have sexual
relations with their wives. He said (interpretation of the meaning): 

‘… then if they return (change their idea in
this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah
is All-Hearer, All-Knower’

[al-Baqarah 2:226-227] 

The aayah ends with
these two names, ‘All-Hearer, All-Knower’, if they decide upon
divorce, to indicate that Allaah does not like that, because in the case of
one who returns or comes back to his wife after swearing not to have
intercourse with her, it says that ‘Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful.’ 

This makes it clear that Allaah likes the one
who has sworn such an oath to go back (to his wife). In the case of one who
has decided to divorce his wife, the use of the words

‘All-Hearer, All-Knower’ indicates that Allaah dislikes that. It
was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: ‘The most hated of permissible things to Allaah is divorce.’ This
hadeeth is not saheeh, but its meaning is saheeh. Allaah dislikes divorce,
but He does not forbid it to His slaves, to make things easier for them. If
there is a valid reason for divorce, in sharee’ah or otherwise, then that is
permissible. Whether there is a valid reason depends on whether the woman’s
remaining married will lead to some shar’i reservation that can only be
alleviated by divorce, then he may divorce her, such as when the woman is
lacking in religious commitment or chastity, and he is unable to reform her.
In such cases, we say that it is better for him to divorce her. But if there
is no such valid reason, whether shar’i or otherwise, then we say that it is
better not to divorce her; indeed in such a case divorce would be makrooh.”

 (As’ilat al-Baab al-Maftooh by Ibn
‘Uthaymeen, p. 113)

 With regard to the woman mentioned in the
question, if she is able to live with her husband in a good manner, and if
each of them can put up with the other at times of short-lived anger, then
this will be better for her, for him, for their children and for the family
of each partner. If a good life cannot continue between them for some reason
on the part of one or both of them, and it appears that separation is better
for her or for him or for both of them, then Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):

 “But if they separate (by divorce),
Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty”

[al-Nisaa’ 4:130] 

Allaah may provide her with a husband better
than him, who will be more righteous and treat her more kindly. May Allaah
help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Islam Question and Answer - Divorcing a woman by talaaq when she is pregnant

Divorcing a woman by talaaq when she is pregnant

My husband divorced me while I was pregnant than before I gave birth to my child he came back and said that we are not divorced since pregnant women can’t be divorced.  So I would like to know am I really divorced or not.  My husband and I love each other very much and now we have a baby son.  Please do reply to me as soon as possible.

 

Praise
be to Allaah.

 

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked
whether a woman may be divorced by talaaq when she is pregnant. He said: 

This is an idea which is common among some people. Some
of the people think that a pregnant woman cannot be divorced by talaaq.
I do not know where they get this idea from, for it has no basis in
the words of the scholars. Rather the view of all the scholars is that
a pregnant woman can be divorced by talaaq. There is consensus on this
point among the scholars, and there is no dispute. Talaaq according
to the Sunnah means that a woman may be divorced in two cases: 

1 – She may be divorced when she is pregnant; this is
a Sunnah divorce and is not bid’ah.

2 – She should be taahir (pure, i.e., not menstruating)
and her husband should not have touched her (i.e., had intercourse with
her), i.e., she should have become taahir following menstruation or
nifaas (post-natal bleeding) and before he has intercourse with her.
Talaaq in this case is in accordance with the Sunnah. 

Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/45-46 

So long as he took her back during the ‘iddah, then she
is still his wife, because the ‘iddah of a woman who is pregnant ends
when she gives birth, and her husband took her back before she gave
birth. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And for those who are pregnant (whether they are
divorced or their husbands are dead), their ‘Iddah (prescribed period)
is until they lay down their burden”

[al-Talaaq 65:4] 

This is the ‘iddah of the pregnant woman whether she
is divorced or widowed. The husband should count this as one talaaq.
And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

Islam Question and Answer - Does leaving one’s wife for a long time count as divorce?

Does leaving one’s wife for a long time count as divorce?

I am the second wife of a man from XXX . I have recently reverted to Islam and my 3 kids have also. My question is My husbands wife in XXX has been without him for 14 months now. He doesn't give her the equallity that he is suppose to and she is very upset. I was told that if a man is away from his eife for more than 4 months, that this automatically means that they are divorced. is this true? He wants to stay married for his daughters sake, and I feel it is wrong for him to keep stringing her along. I'm not sure she knows that he plans on remaining here in the XXX . and only visiting XXX a few months a year. Please help me with this. alot  of people are being hurt?

 

Praise
be to Allaah.  

 

So long as the husband has not uttered the word of divorce
to her, and the wife has not gone to the qaadi to seek a divorce, then
divorce has not taken place. She is still his wife and divorce does
not take place automatically. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy
on him) was asked when a woman is considered to be divorced. He said: 

“A woman is considered to be divorced when her husband pronounces the
word of divorce to her, when he is of sound mind and under no compulsion
to do so, and there is no impediment to divorce such as his being insane
or intoxicated, etc., and the woman is pure (not menstruating or bleeding
following childbirth) and he has not had intercourse with her since
she became pure, or she is pregnant or post-menopausal.” 

Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh
Ibn Baaz, 1/35 

It is haraam for this husband to do this and leave his
first wife, and not treat her fairly or justly. By doing this he is
exposing himself to the stern warning. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah
said: “The Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives
and inclines more to one of them than the other, will come on the Day
of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,
1959; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah,
no. 1603). 

If the first wife is being harmed by this, she has the right to refer
the matter to the qaadi, so that he can force the husband either to
divorce her or to annul the marriage. Because the scholars considered
not having intercourse with one’s wife with the intention of harming
her, even if he has not sworn an oath to that effect, to come under
the same ruling as one who takes an oath not to have sexual relations
with his wife (cf. al-Baqarah 2:226). In this case, if he does not go
back to his wife and refuses to divorce her, then the judge may make
him divorce or annul the marriage. And Allaah knows best. 

See al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by al-Fawzaan, 2/321 

See also Question no.
9021.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

Islam Question and Answer - A husband has not been fulfilling his responsibility towards his wife for five years

 

A husband has not been fulfilling his responsibility towards his wife for five years

 If the husband does not take the responsiblity of a wife throughout his marraige of 5 years . what is the wife suppose to do in such case, Is she entitled to maintaince, or if she decides to have a seperation what is the procedure for the divorce according to Quran and sunnah?

 

Praise
be to Allaah.  

 

Undoubtedly it is the husband’s obligation to spend on
his wife and to do his duty towards her and give her all her rights.
If he fails her and falls short in his duties towards her, or he causes
her harm, then she has the right to demand separation, i.e., divorce.
But before that she has to ask him to spend on her and provide her with
accommodation, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell,
according to your means”   [al-Talaaq 65:6] 

“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and
the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what
Allaah has given him. Allaah puts no burden on any person beyond what
He has given him”[al-Talaaq 65:7] 

And he has to live with her honourably. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 

“and live with them honourably”[al-Nisaa’ 4:19] 

If her husband gives her her rights as prescribed in
sharee’ah, then it is haraam for her to ask for divorce, because the
Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who asks
for divorce when there is no reason, the fragrance of Paradise will
be forbidden to her.” But if she is being harmed, and the situation
is too much for her to bear, and he is not spending enough on her or
he is not giving her her rights, then she has the right to ask for a
divorce. She should go to the qaadi and explain the situation to him,
and he in turn should ask the husband to give her her rights or to divorce
her. 

 

Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen.

 

Islam Question and Answer - How should a man take back his wife after divorcing her?

How should a man take back his wife after divorcing her?

I know when getting married a person needs their parents blessing and consent but what if a married couple are separated and are considering returning to each other, do they still need their parents blessing all over again?

 

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

If a man
divorces his wife and this is the first or second talaaq and she has not
ended her ‘iddah (by giving birth if she is pregnant or by the passage of
three menstrual cycles), then he can take his wife back by saying, “I am
taking you back” or “I am keeping you.” Then his taking her back is valid.
Or he may do some action intending thereby to take her back, such as having
intercourse with the intention of taking her back. 

The Sunnah
is to have two witnesses to the fact that he has taken her back, so that two
witnesses testify to that, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“Then
when they are about to attain their term appointed, either take them back in
a good manner or part with them in a good manner. And take as witness two
just persons from among you (Muslims)”[al-Talaaq 65:2] 

In this
manner a man may take his wife back. 

But if the
‘iddah has ended following a first or second talaaq, then there has to be a
new marriage contract. In this case he has to propose marriage like any
other man, to her guardian and to her. When she and her guardian agree and
they agree upon a mahr, then the marriage contract is completed. That must
be done in the presence of two just witnesses. 

But if the
divorce is the final – i.e., third – divorce, then she becomes haraam for
him until another man has married her, because Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 

“And if
he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him
thereafter until she has married another husband” [al-Baqarah 2:230] 

So it is not permissible
for him to marry her unless she has been married to another man and the
marriage has been consummated, then he leaves her either through death or
divorce. This marriage must be a legitimate shar’i marriage; if she marries
him just to make it permissible for her to go back to her first husband,
that is not permitted and she does not become permissible (to the first
husband). 

 

See Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, 1/195-201.

 

Islam Question and Answer - Is it permissible to live with a husband who takes out a riba-based loan?

 

Is it permissible to live with a husband who takes out a riba-based loan?

Is it sinful for a wife to live with a husband who takes out loan to start a business? Can this be a ground for divorce? I would be grateful if you could advice me in how to convience him that it is wrong what he is doing.

 

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

If the loan that he has asked for is halaal, i.e. it is not
based on riba, and he intends to pay it back, then there is nothing wrong
with this, and this is not regarded as a sinful loan. 

But if this loan is a riba-based loan, then it is haraam and
it is not permissible for him to take it or to start a business with this
haraam money. 

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He
will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

 And He will provide him from (sources) he never could
imagine”

[al-Talaaq 65:2-3] 

and :

“Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah
will compensate him with something better than that.” 

If you want to advise him, then in Question no.
9054 you will
find some comments on this topic which you can give him so that he might
benefit from that, and avoid that which is haraam.  

With regard to his consuming riba, this may be grounds for
you to ask him for a divorce (talaaq) or to ask for khula’, but you do not
have to do that, rather it is o.k. for you to stay with him and live with
him whilst continuing to advise him to do that which is better, especially
if there is the hope that he will mend his ways. 

With regard to eating from his money, if he has a permissible
source of income other than this, then there is no sin on you or on you
children if you eat from this money. But if all his earnings are haraam and
you cannot find any other source of maintenance, and you have no other
halaal source of income, then it is permissible for you to take just what
you need, and no more, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you
can”

[al-Taghaabun 64:16] 

So in this case if you take money, you are taking what he is
obliged to spend on you. But you should still continue to advise him and
tell him to refrain from taking haraam loans, and to look for a way that is
acceptable according to sharee’ah, so that he can do work and earn his
provision thereby. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

Islam Question and Answer - A number of questions about divorce

 

 

A number of questions about divorce

I have three urgent and, I believe,very imporatant questions about Divorce (Talaq).


1. Is what is known in the west as SEPARATION permitted in Islam? A muslim husband and wife with children living in the west are seriously considering divorce. Somebody suggested trying Separation first. The husband would move out to a place nearby but since they are still married there would be no problem comming in the house at any time. He would still continue to support the family in every respect.


2. For consummated marriage and with first Talaq, when does Eddah end? Is it the end of the third period (bleeding) or the beginning of the fourth one?


3. What is permitted during Eddah that would not constitute end of Talaq? I know that sexual intercourse is not, but is kissing, touching and hugging ok?

 

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

With regard to the first question, the answer depends on the
circumstances. If what is intended by this action is to reduce the level of
tension in the relationship, then they will come back together, or as a
trial separation to see what effect that will have on them and their
children so that it will help them to take a decision, and they both agree
to this temporary separation, then there is nothing wrong with that. 

If this is a decision that they have both taken, and have
agreed to separate from one another without divorcing, then it should be
said that if the woman foregoes the rights that she will lose through this
separation, and he also foregoes his rights over her, and they think that
this is in their best interests and those of their children, and the place
where the woman and her children will stay is a safe place where they will
not suffer neglect, then that is permissible, subject to these conditions.
But if she wants intimacy and he does not want to do that, or there is the
fear that she may do something wrong whilst she is still married to him, and
the like, then he should divorce her, but still continue to spend on his
children. And Allaah knows best. 

With regard to the second question: the ‘iddah of a divorced
woman who has periods, with whom the marriage has been consummated and who
is not pregnant, is a matter concerning which classical and contemporary
scholars have differed. The view which is regarded as most correct by the
majority of contemporary scholars, such as Shaykh Ibn Baaz and Ibn
‘Uthaymeen, and others, is that the ‘iddah ends when three menstrual periods
have passed, and as soon as the third period ends, the ‘iddah ends. This is
the view of many of the major Sahaabah such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Ali
ibn Abi Taalib and Ibn Mas’ood, and it was narrated by Ibn al-Qayyim from
Abu Bakr, Abu Moosa and others (may Allaah be pleased with them all). (See
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/310; Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh
Ibn Baaz, 193; Jaami’ Ahkaam al-Nisa’, 4/243).

With regard to the third question: “The women whose divorce is revocable
(i.e., first or second talaaq) may uncover in front of her husband and adorn
herself and wear make-up and perfume. She may speak to him and he may speak
to her; she may sit with him and do anything with him apart from intercourse
and the things that lead to it; that may only happen when he takes her back.
(Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/310) 

If he kisses and embraces
his wife with the intention of taking her back, then that taking back is
valid, with no difference of opinion among the scholars. But if he does not
intend to take her back, then some scholars say that it is permissible on
the grounds that she is his wife, but that it does not mean that he has
taken her back; other scholars say that embracing and kissing etc. are
precursors to intercourse, so the one who does them is sinning if he does
not intend to take her back. To be on the safe side, he should not do that
until after he has clearly stated that he is taking her back, such as saying
to his wife, “I am taking you back,” and two Muslim witnesses bear witness
to his taking her back by him saying in front of them, “I ask you to bear
witness that I am taking my wife So and so back,” and the like. Then he may
do whatever he likes of permissible things. And Allaah knows best. 

(See Subul al-Salaam, 2/267).

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Islam Question and Answer - He wants to help a divorced woman

 

He wants to help a
divorced woman

What about young women who were forced by
their parents to marry someone, without their will and are now divorced !
I know a person which I want to marry probably, she has to fight with
negative thoughts that she is only half a woman and that she is a woman of second class
after she divorced by her husband.Her family treatens her like a slave and she can't trust
no men, after all it was the failure of her parents as she never wanted this marriage. I
want to help her and I hope, when Allah gives me the help and the strength, to marry her.I
do not know what to do because she is blocking and I hope that you can help me in helping
her to get rid of this negative thoughts.I told her that I have no problem with the past
situation but she means that my parents would have a problem with this. Are my parents
allowed to forbid me to marry a person who was already married, when she is pure,
religious and full of chasity?
I know that I need their will when I want to marry a person, but the Quran
doesn't teach about such a situation.
How can I help her, I would do anything to give her the strength to get
over this. Please help me !

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Undoubtedly the best is to marry a woman whom your
parents approve of. If you want to help this woman by marrying her, then try to convince
your parents, and you will be rewarded in sha Allaah. If they are not convinced, then look
for a Muslim brother who can marry her and take care of her.

With regard to divorced women, if a divorced woman is religious and
well-mannered, then she is of high standing and her divorce has no effect on her worth and
does not make her of any less value before Allaah. She has to remain steadfast and not let
these groundless ideas affect her. We would also like to draw your attention to the fact
that it is not permissible to form a relationship with a non-mahram woman and call her or
contact her for no reason, because of the temptation that this may pose to her or to you.
We ask Allaah to give you and her strength.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

 

 

Islam Question and Answer - Divorce uttered in anger

 

 

Divorce uttered in anger

I would like to ask you about an incident happened 4 days ago to my muslim brother. He said to his wife that, he is giving her three talak at once and sweared after that. But after couple of hours he regret for saying that, and also claiming he was angry at the moment he was talking to his wife. So sheikh my brother wants to know if is he allowed to go back to his wife because it is its first time to say that or is not allowed? according to islamic sheria. I would like some qoutations on your decision because I heard different views from people but with no evidence from the sharia.

 

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

Anger is of three types:

 1 – when anger is so intense that are person is no longer
aware of what he is doing or saying, and becomes like one who is insane or
mad. In this case the talaaq (divorce) does not count, according to all the
scholars, because he is like one who is insane and mad, who has lost all
power of reason.

 2 – when his anger is intense but he understands what he is
saying and doing, but his anger is intense and he cannot control himself
because the argument trading of insults or fighting has gone on too long, so
his anger may be intense because of that. In this case there is a difference
of opinion among the scholars, but the most correct view is that divorce
does not count in this case either, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no divorce and no freeing
of slaves when it is done by force or in a state of intense anger.”
(Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 2046; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Irwa’,
2047)

 3 – mild anger, which is what happens when the husband is
upset with his wife, or he is disappointed about something that his wife has
done, but it is not so intense that it makes him lose his power of reasoning
or self-control. Rather it is the ordinary kind of anger and is mild. In
this case the divorce is valid according to the all the scholars.

 This is the correct answer regarding divorce uttered in
anger, as was stated by Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allaah have
mercy on them.

 And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings and peace
upon our Prophet Muhammad.

 

Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, pp. 15-27

Islam Question and Answer - He was told that his wife had revived a previous forbidden relationship so he divorced her

He was told that his wife had revived a previous forbidden relationship so he divorced her

My friend got divorced in this Ramzan and his wife was(is) 5 months pregnant as well .


The reason for divorce was that his wife had boy friends before marriage and someone said that after marriage also she would meet her ex boy friends .


On this reason he divorced her and under the influence of his parents.


Now what i want to know is was that a right path , did it have Allah's Sanction to this deed ?


what about the child who is in the womb ? What will happen to that baby and his/her future ?

 

Praise be to Allaah.
   

 

What you have mentioned in the question covers a number of
issues: 

1 – What you have mentioned about your friend divorcing his
wife during her pregnancy is valid according to the consensus of the
scholars, because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar in al-Saheehayn,
according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “Tell him to take her back, then to divorce her when she is pure
(not menstruating) or pregnant.” That indicates that whoever divorces (his
wife when she is) pregnant, the divorce is valid. (Fataawa al-Talaaq
by Ibn Baaz, 1/45). 

2 – With regard to the reason that led him to divorce her,
which is that person telling him that she had been meeting with her former
boyfriend after marriage, we advise those who want to pass things on to make
sure that any news is true before they pass it on, and that their intentions
are good. Her husband too should have checked whether what he was told was
true or not, and not divorce her on these grounds without verifying
anything. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! If a Faasiq (liar — evil person) comes
to you with any news, verify it, lest you should harm people in ignorance,
and afterwards you become regretful for what you have done”

[al-Hujuraat 49:6] 

Hastening to divorce one’s wife without verifying anything
and without giving oneself time to think it over is a rejection of the
blessing of marriage for no valid reason and destroying the family which is
a blessing that Allaah has bestowed upon the children of Adam, as Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you
wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has
put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a
people who reflect” [al-Room 30:21] 

If he finds out that something displeasing is true, then he
may try to correct it through the means which he is permitted to use by
virtue of his being in charge of his wife (qiwaamah), or he may
separate from her, whilst also concealing her sin. 

3 – If the wife had previous relationships, before marriage,
then she got married and repented to Allaah, and broke off all forbidden
relationships, then she should not be rebuked for what is in the past,
because the one who has repented from a sin is like one who has never
sinned. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and
forgives sins” [al-Shoora 42:25] 

It is not permissible to expose her, to tell everyone about
her or to call her to account for the past; rather he should cover up her
past and her secrets; whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allaah will
cover his faults in this world and in the Hereafter. 

Such cases explain to us the wisdom of the sharee’ah in
forbidding everything that may lead to an improper relationship between a
man and a woman, such as looking at a non-mahram woman, shaking hands with
her, being alone with her, and so on, whether that is before marriage or
afterwards. 

4 – With regard to the husband’s parents applying pressure on
him to divorce her without any proof of the things of which she had been
accused, obedience to parents should only be with regard to that which is
good and proper, things that Allaah and His Messenger (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) have permitted. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Obedience is only with regard to
that which is good and proper.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7245; Muslim,
1840). His parents’ orders to hasten to divorce her with no proven sin on
the wife’s part is not something which is good and proper. 

5 – With regard to the foetus in her womb, the basic
principle in sharee’ah is that that the child belongs to the (marriage-) bed
and belongs to the husband, unless he disowns him, because of the hadeeth of
the Prophet: ‘The child belongs to the (marriage-)bed and the adulterer is
to be stoned.” (al-Bukhaari, 2053; Muslim, 1457). 

i.e., the child is to be attributed to the husband and no
attention is to be paid to doubts and the like, especially in a case like
this where the doubts are far-fetched. Islam encourages us to attribute
children to their fathers, so this husband should not open the door to
waswaas (whispers of the Shaytaan) with regard to his son who will be born
to the wife he has divorced, because he has no evidence to the contrary. 

If this husband wants to go back to his wife after this
divorce (talaaq), if she is still pregnant and he issued the talaaq once or
twice, then she is still his wife according to sharee’ah, because her ‘iddah
has not yet ended. Allaah says: 

“And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced
or their husbands are dead), their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is until they
lay down their burden” [al-Talaaq 65:4] 

So he may take her back and ask two men to bear witness that
he is taking her back; in this way she will become his wife again.  

But if she has already given birth and this was the first or
second talaaq, then he may go back to her with a new contract, so long as it
meets all the necessary conditions.  And he should beware of such news and
take care to protect his wife and keep her away from places which may give
rise to suspicion. And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid