She wants to stay overnight with her family and her husband wants her to stay with his family

She wants to stay overnight with her family and her husband wants her to stay with his family

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I live abroad with my husband. We have one month holiday every year, we spend it with our families. He asks me to spend this month in his family’s home, while go to my family just to visit. I want to go to my family’s home daily and sleep there; as it is only one month. What shall I do if I insist on this but my husband refuses?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

We advise you to do what
your husband is asking, because that is good for several reasons: 

-        
By obeying your husband you are
obeying the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and
there is great reward with Allaah for that. The reward for a wife obeying
her husband is hardly equalled by the reward for any other deed. 

It was narrated from ‘Abd
al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts
her month (of Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will
said to her: Enter Paradise through which ever of the gates of Paradise you
wish.” 

Narrated by Ahmad (1/191),
classed as hasan by al-Sakhaawi in al-Buldaaniyaat (161) and by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (1932). 

It was narrated from
al-Husayn ibn Mihsan that a
paternal aunt of his came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) to ask about some need. When he had finished talking to her, the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her: “Do you
have a husband?” She said: “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said:
“I do not fall short in giving him his rights, except that which I am not
able to do.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise
and your hell.” 

Narrated by Ahmad (4/341).
Al-Mundhiri said in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (3/97): Its isnaad is
jayyid. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Targheeb (1933). 

-        
By obeying your husband in this
matter, you will avoid conflicts and arguments that may arise from your
disobeying your husband. 

-        
We would also remind you that
the righteous wife is the one who does not separate from her husband and is
keen to serve him and take care of him and strives to make him happy. 

-        
Remember that by obeying him in
this matter, you will be preserving happiness between you, and strengthening
the bond of love, but if you go against him you will be opening the way for
the shaytaan and stirring up conflict and disputes. Even if its effects are
not seen straight away, the effects of going against his wishes will
inevitably make themselves felt soon, especially if the conflict and
arguments accumulate.  

You can work out this
matter with your husband in a calm manner, such as if you stay with his
family for half of the time and with your family for the other half, or you
go to them for a certain number of days. 

What the husband should do
is be kind to his family and not put pressure on them and not be harsh,
because the wife is one of the people who are most deserving of kind and
gentle treatment. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am
the best of you to my family.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895); classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

We ask Allaah to guide you
aright. 

And Allaah knows best.